So last week I think I may have lost it for a second..well maybe two but I got it together at the last minute before major damage was done. PHEW!
Does anyone else seem to have issues at their house in the morning? Knowing all of my friends and family probably not. Your houses probably run like clock work. Your children do all they are asked to.. no one fights...chores are done...cue the angels singing. Well my house the last few months has be HIDEOUS! It seems like no matter what I do nothing seems to be working which leads me to the ruler.
This particular morning the kids had all been fighting (like they have for the last couple of months) and I had had it. After giving them the, "for the love of everything that is holy, get it together" lecture, I went back to making lunches. Preston was pretending to pick up the kitchen and Mckena was finishing her breakfast. When Mckena made the fatal mistake of wiping her mouth on the dishcloth. Preston said, "sick Mckena! Now we cant use that to wipe the table off! Go put it in the dirty clothes!" Mckena looked at him and threw it down the stairs onto the floor. This is when Preston felt the need to appoint himself as the "new mother" and he whacked her on the leg with the ruler he was holding! At 12 ARE YOU KIDDING ME??? This is the moment when something inside me snapped! I grabbed the ruler and I thought lets see how you like it. WHAT?? At 35 ARE YOU KIDDING ME??? Well don't call DCSF yet cause I didn't whack him with it although I thought about it. Since I had officially lost it I didn't even talk to him about it. I just pointed to his room and gave him the "you better run" look. After they left for school. I sat down and thought What the heck am I doing?? I am the worst mother. I am probably damaging my kids everyday. Maybe I should get a job and put them in daycare. They would probably be better off. Then my friend called. I told her the story and we laughed a little and then she shared a conversation she had with her older sister who's has kids in high school. I am probably going to butcher this so just hang in there with me. She said looking back on the years when her kids were young it was tough. She felt at times her kids would be better off in the care of someone else but now that they are older she can see the benefit it has made for her kids that she was home. She said no one can love your kids as much as you do and that makes all the difference.
Now this is not a post of stay at home moms versus working moms. I love and respect many moms in the work force. Every ones situation is different and as moms we do what we have to do for our families. I just felt like I wasn't making the cut at my house. It was good to hear AGAIN that what I am doing is important. I may not be important or valued in the eyes of society but I will always be the mom to my kids. So I will get MY act together, I will make dinner, do laundry, wipe boogers, change diapers, listen about the cute boy at school, friend woes, and support my kids in all that they do. Then someday, I will hopefully see the benefits of my efforts and it will be worth it all of moments I felt like giving up but didn't.
